If you are from a broken home, trying to find and marry the right man, you will definitely experience rejections from men simply because your parents are separated. .
The crazy experiences I have had since my parents decided to go their separate ways has opened my eyes to the reality of life.
I am only glad they did not totally mar me but made me the strong, resilient and happy woman I am today.
Those experiences, though at the time seemed unbearable, has only brought out the gold in me and today, I can confidently say I have inspired and influenced hundreds of ladies to become more intentional with their choice of a life partner and as a result, they have gone on to build happy, stable marriages.
If ladies from broken homes are this awesome, why then do men fear marrying one?
Truth is, at the beginning I was not this awesome. We never are!
Experiencing abandonment, rejection, failed promises, fear, consistent anger towards the parent who left, insecurity, homelessness, lack and bullying from peers leaves a serious negative mark on people from broken homes.
I was a sad frustrated lady who only felt disadvantaged by a condition I had no control over. Over the years, I have seen and counselled hundreds of ladies from broken homes and the issue is almost always the same.
Even if you were just a child when your parents separated, you will be greatly affected because, from age I to 6 years, a child develops subconsciously, picking information, feelings, feedbacks, and experiences from people closest to him or her.
So, whatever emotions or feelings was prevalent around you stays with you until you consciously decide to re-program your mind.
- You may say, Oh thank God I was already a mature teenager when my parents separated.
Unfortunately, studies have also shown that teenagers who experience parents’ divorce can be affected well into adulthood. teenagers of divorced parents can experience self-protective fear and a reluctance to enter into a committed relationship. Many report having trust issues. These problems can lead to other behavioural problems, which can undermine their own relationships
- A tendency to be overly cautious in relationships
- A tendency to keep relationships superficial to avoid commitment
- Manipulative behaviour to keep the other partner committed to the relationship
- Willingness to give up on the relationship as soon as problems arise.
So, whether you were a child or a teen when your parents divorce happened, you were affected.
Though men who avoid marrying ladies from broken homes are not right, it is important you understand why they do so.
- Why are men afraid of marrying ladies from broken homes?
Is it just the stigma or are there better reasons to avoid ladies like you who have gone through so much pain and only deserves to be loved?
After a lot of study, here are my observations.
Ladies from broken homes have characters men are afraid of.
Bellow are the character 90% of ladies from broken homes possess and display.
1. Lacks trust
2. Are overly independent in relationships
3. Get overly emotional
4. Are scared of getting married
5. Are scared of repeating their parents mistakes which makes then always tensed and worried
6. Are overly jealous
7. Have superficial relationships with partners and are afraid to be deeply committed
8. Often seeking love and attention
9. Threaten to leave their relationships at any sign of friction
10. Are in need of constant validation yet are invalidating in return.
11. Are hypercritical
12. Suffers depression
13. Loves fights and quarrels
14. Are Unforgiving
If you see yourself in this list, welcome home love.
I am proud to say I exhibited most of the traits in this list but they only left me very sad and frustrated.
I went from one relationship to the other believing something was either wrong with the men or the relationship. But the truth is, what was mostly wrong was me.
I carried a bunch of emotional baggages and not until I worked on myself, it was one failed relationship after another.
I was tired of the several heartbreaks and wanted to move from dating to married but the harder I tried, the more rejection I suffered.
Truth is, you can never give what you don’t have.
If you are a mess, quite trying to have a working relationship and first go work on yourself.
Those traits listed above are no jokes. They are relationship and marriage wreckers.
They are the reason you are still broken and single.
Men do not generally hate ladies from broken homes. They hate the attitudes of ladies from broken homes. (Not to say ladies from complete homes are perfect. People are influenced and affected by a lot of things.) Although there are men who are bias and surfacely believe ladies from broken homes end up with broken homes, they are not your problem. Everyone is entitled to what they choose to believe and no amount of words or debate can change their mind about you.
Your major goal is to make sure when a man finally trusts and gets married to you, you don’t make him regret it.
That will only emphasise the believe that ladies from broken homes end up with broken homes.
The goal is to make marriage so beautiful that people can’t judge you based on your barckground.
The goal is to take those negative traits and turn it to something beautiful. It starts with the desire and sheer will to become a better person.
When I first decided to transform my negative attitude, I thought making the decision was all I needed to do. For a few years, I tried and tried but ended up frustrated.
I will say, “I will never get angry and scream at anyone” (which was one major issues guys kept complaining about me.)
Few hours latter, precious is screaming at someone.
Those attitude you have unconsciously developed that is chasing good and serious men far away from you will not change because you wish it.
They will not change because you prayed hard for it.
That is why you can hear about a great pastor sleeping around.
Prayer has it’s place and you also have some physical activities to do to totally erase negative memories sabotaging your chances of getting married.
You have to reprogram your mind.
If you work on yourself and transform those attitude, you will be among the few ladies from broken homes who have gone on to build the best marriages single ladies want to model.